The Big Question
"O my body, make of me always a man who questions!"
Black Skin, White Masks
Questions have the right power to usher us into a deeper dimension of life - one characterized by a meaningful self realization and a profound understanding of both our immediate and far-stretched surroundings. As Jeff Boss writes in his article on the power of questions, "Nothing has such power to cause a complete mental turnaround as that of a question."
Simon Sinek in his famous TED talk: How Great Leaders Inspire Action intriguingly captures the mind-boggling power of asking the right questions; especially as it relates to his revolutionary yet very simple Golden Circle. "Always start with why!" He instructs.
For a long time, I have pondered on a few fundamental questions all of which are characterized by the compelling 'Why-element'. Why I'm I here today? Why do I do the things I do? Why are things the way they are? No doubt, these questions have led me through an invaluable journey of personal reflection. The outcome of this self-mirroring has been a much more fulfilling and meaningful everyday life, with a focus on quality and impactful engagements and relationships.
As a college student, I like several others in this same boat, find myself constantly being bombarded my aspects of a demanding, competitive, fast and attention-seeking culture. It all seems as though all that matters are what grades one gets, how many organizations one is involved with, what internships will lead to "the dream job," or how to get the most well paying job after college. While I certainly believe all these are important issues to be wisely and proportionately engaged with, I also concede that what I observe among fellow college peers is rather concerning. Many of us are obsessively consumed by the things of the future that we barely have a sense of the present.
Very often have I spoken to friends who are, for all the right reasons, deeply vested in getting straight As in all their courses - a trait I personally admire, but do it at the expense of other equally meaningful, useful and uplifting extra-curricular involvements. On the other hand, I have also encountered several others involved with a seemingly endless list of extra-curricular activities, that they completely detest and do not enjoy at all. You must be asking yourself the same question I've asked myself so many times: why do they keep doing more of what they don't like? I mean, why?
The simple answer I have learnt from many is: it's good for my CV! Now that is a problem symptomatic of an even bigger societal quagmire. On a more unfortunate note, the education system seems to be designed in a way that intrinsically makes it operate in the fashion of a factory producing products (students) for the job market. Hailing from a country (Uganda) where a gruesome number of graduates lack the on-demand skills in the marketplace, I am certainly a strong proponent of the motion that universities must make it their priority to best prepare their students for the post graduation life. I concede that a college education must through innovative ways fully prepare the student to add the most value to their society.
This should be done by instilling in the students an inquisitive mindset, an enterprising curiosity, a sense of idealism, and qualities of compassion, love, respect for and of difference, integrity, honesty, and personal example. I will also argue that while students should be assisted in discovering and consolidating their strengths through support systems and mentorship programs, and made to appreciate the fact that the spirit of learning is a lasting frontier, a special focus must be directed towards fighting their weaknesses, for by wrestling with and defeating our greatest weakness do we build a depth of character.
So what's the big question? This is the question:
Should one live for their resume or live to meaningfully impact others in a way that will be remembered long after they're gone?
I am a firm believer that the most meaningful life is the one lived for others. I therefore subscribe to the latter portion of the question. A meditative short TED talk I recently came across while productively procrastinating on Facebook really helped me engage further with the question. The New York Times columnist David Brooks ask fundamentally the very same question. "Should you live for your resume... or eulogy?" He asks.
According to Mr. Brooks, in each of us there are two selves; "the self who craves success, who builds a résumé, and the self who seeks connection, community, love — the values that make for a great eulogy." You're welcome to watch the short talk below.
The reflection on the two categories of virtues Mr. Brooks presents; resume virtues and eulogy virtues, is one that entails deep questions that examines the core of our lives. While our resume captures the spectrum of our experiences and personal achievements, our eulogy will be the ultimate summary of our life. Whereas our resume is a picture of how we want to be perceived by others, our eulogy will be a painting of how others perceived us based on how we impacted their lives. Our resume sets the precedence for our commendation and our eulogy will set precedence for our commemoration. These distinctions have been the foundational basis for my answer to the why I'm I here question. They have brought upon me the realization of what truly matters in life - meaningfully impacting others.
While I possess the ultimate power over what I want others to see on my resume and admit that a dazzling resume is too small of a goal to settle for, the realization that one day someone will have such equivalence of power over my eulogy - the summation of my life, is as daunting a thought as it is liberational. This glorious realization is the spectacular inflection from an impressionism life to an impactful one. It is therefore my hope, that in this life - for as long as I continue to breath of the free oxygen - I will fully utilize every opportunity to impact others meaningfully. This, I know I will achieve by diligently working on my eulogy virtues - by wrestling with the iniquities of my past and claiming victory over them, and hence building character.
Mr. Brooks, in his closing remarks leaves us with the deeply philosophical words of the American theologian and ethicist, Reinhold Niebuhr which fully captures the essence of this question of meaning in life.
"Nothing that's worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime; therefore we must be saved by hope. Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context or history; therefore we must be saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore we must be saved by love. No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own standpoint; there we must be saved by that final form of love, which is forgiveness." - Reinhold Niebuhr.
